just a dream about my whole life
I saw a dream tonight
I was laying in the middle of a big, beautiful church
My mum was beside me
She wanted to make me get up on my feet
My sisters too
But I couldn't
I was laying with no straight in my body
I wanted to cry
but no tears was showed up
Someone came near and told me to get up
He was a police with a military clothes
with a star on his shoulder
He told me again with a louder voice
- You can not lay here, You have to get up!
I was pissed off and told him to go away, that he has nothing to do with this.
He saw me and sat beside me a little bit and then he took my hands and took me up
He took me to a place there we could sit and then we begin to talk.
He was on his way to go away after talking
I get up too and went after him.
It was like if he had told me that he loved me,
but I couldn't because I was in love with someone.
But in the same time, I was feeling like I needed him
That he was important to me
that I didn't want to lose him just because
I was in love with someone doesn't even love me back
someone who just fooled around with me
I can fall in love with him by the time, cause he was really gentle and true.
And forget the man I was in love with
And when he saw that I was walking behind him
He just turned around and told me to go back
I nodded and looked down
He laid his hand on my head and then he took up my face so he could see me
He looked at me with thus gentle eyes and smiled
He was not like my dream prince
But he was cute
He was tall, around 180 cm
thin, with muscle body
with a dark brown hair, like mine but short off course
brown eyes, nice like mine
and had even moustache, like my dads', but a bit thinner
I smiled back
He asked why I was walking behind him
- I don't know, but I couldn't let you go.
That's right that I don't love you like you want.
But you really are important to me and I don't want to lose you. I do love you but in a special way.
I really was in love with him,
His love was pure and calm
His love made me see better and was making me feel like I am in this life
He didn't make me feel like I am in a dream.
He made me feel happy in a calmer way
Not like the man I was in love did
The youngest boy made me feel so strong feelings
as strong as I couldn't handle it
He made me jump and dance when he talked nicely
and cry the nights along when he didn't
His love just made me feel like I am dreaming
I wasn't feeling that I am in this world
And this time I really wanted this love of calmness
Because I cant just live in a dream
I wanted to live in the reality
We had decided that he would come to my house and asked for my hand from my mother.
The day which was about coming and asking for my hand from my mother came
I was walking in a town square
Was seeing my phone
open it and then close it
like I always do when I'm thinking
I was thinking if I made the right decision
If its right to marry one, while I am in love with someone else
what should I do?
But I really was tired
tired of this life
tired of being fooled by the one I loved
Tired of waiting to see when he would really fall in love with me
It will never happen anyway
Then I decided to really marry that person who loved me
and be faithful in whole my life to him
I will love him like he wants
and do my best to make him happy
The day came to be married
I was warring a light green dress
really beautiful dress like the wedding-dress
and was the day we would write on papers, about being married
but something happened this time
he didn't come
then my brothers looked for him and found him in a street with his things
He was laying down dead
He had left a letter on thus things which was for me
I couldn't keep my self up on my feet
I sat on the ground and opened the letter which was bloody
I tried to read it, but I couldn't because of the tears which was streaming
I really loved him at that time and it really hurted me to see him laying like that dead
I let my brother read it
he read just a bit of it, which was about the things and stuff,
but didn't read the other paper,
because the pther paper was speacially for me
The things was for me
It was my wedding things and many other things which he wanted to gave me
even his things was there too
I went close to him
he was bloody
was shotten to death
I took his hand and wanted to shoot his name aloud
I wanted to see him once again
I wanted at least to kiss him in my wedding-day
I wanted to live my life with him
I cried of my pain
It wasn't fear
I hated everyone
Didn't want to live in this awful life
Nothing was important to me any longer
A few years later I was walking in a shop
The shop had his things
Things which he had made
and things which was his own
my eyes was stopped at a clock
It was old and little
but beautiful
It was like the old clock with a pendulum
Under the clock was some words which was written
I looked at it and saw that was the youngest boy who had written it
and then I looked and there was a letter from him too
which was so old
I open it and saw what was written in it. And then I just laid it at the place where it was.
I didn't want anything longer
Nothing from this life
I was just living my life and waiting
for that time when I had to travel to the another world
Nothing more
happy valentine's day!!
Hej everyone
I am sorry I didn't say "Happy Valentines day" for you all!
Jag bara önskar en enda sak i denna alla hjärtans dag
Jag önskar att fortsätta tro på kärlek
Do you believe in fate?
In dastiney?
Do you believe in love?
The love which never ever ends?
I want to believe in it
I want you to believe in it too
the stranger and the woman - the beginning
A young lady standing infront of the view of the sea
she thought about the things she said
about the things she did
She lay back and saw the sky above her
The stars and the moon, which was lighting the sky
She shutted her eyes slowly and felt the warm air stroking her face
It was really warm weather today
She was hiding the whole day in her room, and was seeing the sea thru the window
while she wrote in her note book,
writing on her novel, which she thought she could finnish at the end of the summer vacacion.
It was quite warm and good weather, so she went out at the beach and enjoyed the warm air which made her skin a bit wet.
While she was laying and shutting her eyes, she heard some foot steps coming closer to her
She qontinued to have the eyes shutted and listened at the footsteps carefully.
She understood that it was footsteps of a stranger. It was slow and calm steps, and in a rythm.
She sat up and saw who it was. It was a young man in yellow shorts and a blue T-shirt. He was tall, like a film star and had green eyes with curly,brown hair.
He was a young man, and she a young lady, the first meeting.
Stranger: It's nice out here. I used to come here too. (He said it calmly and smiled at her.)
Lady: Mm (she nodded her head and looked at the sea.)
Stranger: You are new here, arn't you? (in a curious voice he said and was still looking at her)
Lady: Mm, (she nodded her head again)
Stranger: Is it a summer-vacacion or will you stay?
Lady: It's just a summer-vacion (she said while still watching the sea)
Stranger: for how long will you stay? (he said with a bit fear to be a bit too troublesome)
Lady: about 3 weeks (she said in a calm voice, and thought how sticky he was. She hadn't seen anyone asking her so many question, even when she wasn't really that kind with him.
Stranger: Ok that's good, do you often come here? ( he took a chance that she wouldn't tell him to go away, but he liked to talk to someone right now, and he hadn't anyone to talk to. So that longshot he took was worth it.)
Lady: Do you usually come here at this time? (she asked and looked at him for the first time while speeking to him)
Stranger: I used to come here more often before, but yeah I used to come here often when everyone was gone, I don't really like when there are so many people around. I usually come when I need to smell sea air, and have some fresh thoughts. (he answered calmly and smiled at her when he had finished and saw that she was looking at him this time)
Lady: I don't like so many people around either. I just like to see them from my room. ( she said in a calm voice, almost whispering) I used to come here often at this hour, even if I usually go out in the morning too. When it's quiet and peaceful. I often go out at these times, when I want to fresh my mind and make new ideas. I am a writer, I usually write novels. ( she said in a calm and a happy voice. She felt as she liked to talk to this man. He wasn't really bothering her or even wasnt making her feel weird.)
Stranger: I see, I would love to read some of your novells. More to read it with your own script. (he said and smiled at her. He thought it was nice to meet a writer. He wanted to be a writer when he was a child, but after that his parents died he wanted to become a doctor, and now he was one.)
Lady: mm, (she nodded her head and smiled at him) What do you do? do you work? (she asked him with acurios voice)
Stranger: I am a doctor, I am finnishing my last year to become a specialized about hearts (he told her with a calm voice and looked at the sea. Thought if just he could save his parents from heart desease in that time, but in that time he was just 18 years old)
Lady: nice, I wanted to be a doctor when I was a child. But I changed my mind, I even couldnt come in in that time. (She told him with a calm voice and thought about her past. About her dream when she was a child) Did you always wanted to be a doctor? (she asked him calmly)
Stranger: No, not really. I wanted to be a writer when I was a child.( He told her and smiled at her when she saw him strangely) I just changed my mind when I was 18 years old and then I wanted to be a doctor, no matter what. ( he told her calmly and lokked at the sea.
They sat one moment quite and looked at the sea and then the young man lay on his back and begin to look at the stars and the moon.
Stranger: Do you sometimes lay like that and see the sky? It's really beautiful. I use to that too, sometimes. (He said with a calm voice and smiled)
The young lady lay back too and looked at the stars, She hoped that he couldnt see what she was wearing, a red shorts with a blue linen. She isn't use to take these clothes when she is out. just in these times, when no one is out she had thous clothes, because she would have it comfortable, siense it was hot.
They were quite a moment and then she sat and looked at him laying back and seeing at the stars. He was a good looking young man, with a nice body. He looked at her and aw that she looked at him.
Starnger: Is something wrong, you look so distance. As your thought was somewhere else. ( He asked while he saw her seeing at him, while she didnt show any of emotion.)
Lady: Nothing is wrong, I just have to go, I am just a bit sleepy. It's quite midnight now. ( she said and smiled at him)
Stranger: Oh, I didnt expect we would keep talking untill the midnight, sorry for that. It was my fault ( He thought of how fast the time had gone. He was thinking that it just passed one hour, not 3 hours! But it was really fun to talk to that woman, and he wished he could talk to her more, and see her more)
Lady: no, not at all. It isnt your fault, we just talked, and I had fun, not as I though in the beginning that you would just bother me. (she smiled to him)
Both the young lady and the young man stood up and looked at each other and smiled.
Lady: Good night (she said and took some step farward, to her room.)
Stranger: Good night ( he said and went to his way on his room)
