horses
I dreamed a dream so simple yet so happy and freely tonigh
I was walking morning walk, near the river and the trees, which was growing wildly around. The area was hilly and foggy. It was cold breeze coming around, the breeze of early morning at the spring or autumn.
While I was walking I suddenly saw a whole flocks of horses. Snow white and night black horses, so beautiful...
I began to run with them so happyly and freely. I even whistled to some horses that would take another way. And when they heasrd my whistle came running at me. So beautiful they were! I tauched while they were running and then one horse came near me and began to run beside me. And then I slowed down and stood still. The horse stood still too and began to came near me and smell me. I began to laugh and petted the horse. He came near me with the back, I smiled tried to go up on his back. And he began to run with me with the other horses. So beautiful it was.. I felt so happy and yet so scared. I could see everything from that high and could feel the air coming so nice at my face. So free I felt!
Slowly I woke up with a happiness within me, opened my eyes and saw the early mornings sky infront of me. How everything can be so peaceful and yet so alive at the early morning!
Laughing at my imagination
It's a bit funny with my dreams
Sometimes I get waken by laughing
sometimes I get waken by crying
Or sometimes I wake up when my heart beats so fast
Today I was so tired, because of the "ahia" we did yesterday, mum and I were the only ones who made it this time. It was a bit hard to read, since I never went to school.. but I did good jobb. Next time I will be better in reading..
So today when I came from school I ate with mum and then just slept without noticing. And in that moment I was asleep I saw a dream.. Well I see a dream even if I just was a sleep less than 3 minutes...
I saw that my white T-shirt had become so colored and beautiful. It had some pictures of sunset and some other nice pic's.I felt happy and began to finnish fixing my clothes. Later I sat somewhere, waiting for something. I wasn't sitting alone, some other people were sitting beside me. I might be in a office or in a school.. And because of the long waiting, I began to feel borred. So I took up my fruit which I had in my bag and began to eat it. Later I began to imagine something in my mind.. And I couldn't let go of smiling. I imagined, that the rest of my fruit could be throughn at someone in that office, thous who are just sitting there without doing something and we were just sitting there and waiting. And a minute later I imaganed much better image in my mind. That if I had an egg I could through it on the person who were sitting infront of me, and when I imagined how the person would react, with the rest of egg on his face. I couldn't let go of laughing so loud. And with that I woke up because of the feeling of laughing in my stomach.
When I woke up couldn't wonder what a really strange and funny dream I had. But it was really happy dream, sort of.
I wonder why I imagine things so often, even in the reality and began to laugh so deep. Just because of an imagination I had. I think I even like to imagine that much. It's entertaining sometimes. ^^
the guy, the birds, the knocking door
In balcony I was sitting
watching the sky above
Watching the stars which were lighting the dakness above
Suddenly some lights were lighting strongly, by the motorcycles which were going in circles
Controlling by some guys, which were sitting on and making noices.
One of these guys came to the balcony of mine and had cherry in his hind
With my surrprise I opened my mouth automaticly and he stopped it
He was a nice guy, with light eyes and blond hair, a good looking young man..
He smiled and jumped back to his motorcycle when my sister came and told him to get away from me
And asked how I could trust in a guy like that, and how I could let him came near..
Well she was angry at me more correctly..
I shaked my shoulder as "who cares" and went inside to my room. Like I always do in the real.. which make them more angry..
Later I was with my friends, walking back from the Library
Suddenly some motorcycles was behind us..
They were shooting some kind golfballs which were explosive
I tried to shoot them away to not destroy the biuldings and hurt anyone
Later when they stopped I went to one of them, the one I knew
And slapped him on the chick
" What spose that mean?"
"We had just some fun"
"Do you call that fun? Please!
Do you know if polise was here, what would happen?!
You are cleaver so don't give them a chance to destroy your dream, your own future!
If you want to have fun, come with me to Stockholm, I will go there about a week. So come with me to marry-go-around!
It will be fun, and much more fun that this which you guys are doing here."
"Ok I will come."
I looked at him, and smiled. He was still a child, I noticed now. I took his hands and walked with him..
(it was abit like that bird in my room)And then I went to my room after throwing away the trash in the right place. There in my room was an abondoned bird, because it had a long tail. But it was so beautiful, small and.. unic. I wondered how it came in, but I guess it came throw the window...
And then when I came near, it just jumped at my shoulder.
"Oh so unfrighten and amazing bird" I thought
Suddenly I heard something thrue the window.. I looked and saw that it was another, much stranger bird flying behind the window. It was like if the bird wanted to come in, I just opened my window and the bird just flying inside..
I finaly woke up by the knocking door I heard in the dream.. While I thought it was real..
a dream.. hunted
I saw a dream tonight, more correctly I saw two dreams tonight or more
But all the dreams was abit conected with each other
I was going upstairs with my sister or maybe my friend. Seeing a friend I knew sitting on the strairs and was trying to put the heel away.. Because it was hurting her or maybe because it was allready broken. I saw my sister and smiled, she smiled back and we continued to walk upstairs. Until we went into a library there she took a book, which was wroten about dreams. A book which was explaining the meaning of the vision we have in dreams. I opened it and it was so many pictures and beside the picture there was a explaingning.
"O it's great book, I will borrow it and try to read everything"
" But will you really read it or will you just put it aside and forget about it, like you always do"
" No I swear I will read it, even if it's heavy book but most of it is pictures, so it's not so difficult to read it"
I smiled at her and went to borrow.. Suddenly I was standing beside the stairs with my sister and then we saw the same person, our friand who tried to put her heel away walking close.
" Hi" Both my sister and I said
"Hi" she said And smiled.
I looked at her shoes it was just a simple sandales
" Ah so you changed the shoes"
" Yea it's better like this"
And then she had to go and we went too.
Later I saw that I was biking on the bike. It was evening, the sun was going down and the weather was abit cold.. But in the way home, I felt as someone held my shoulder. I was scared first but then I thought it was a child, even if I couldn't see it, but I thought it wouldn't hurt me, so I let it hung on my shoulder. But then it jumped and sat on my shoulder completly, it was heavy and I began to feel so scared, because it wasn't a child I recognized. I quickly took his hands and throw it away and began to bike like hell. I felt how the swet run, as if I was taking a shower. It maybe was raining, I don't know. But the thing is I don't even now where I was going. I biked somewhere I havn't seen before.
(Oh I have seen these streets in dreams hundred of times but not in the reality or in movies) I biked in small streets and then throw away my bike and run to a small building, there it was small stairs. In the way here I heard a voice.. maybe remebered what someone told me, or maybe I just heard a voice who was telling me.
" These creatures was once near to GOD, they were once like us humans, but could see GOD, had powers and were created by fire. They where once good and didn't hurt anyone. But after that we been created, thous creatures was so angry to be in the same level as we humans, the humans without power and was created by ground. They thought they were much higher than us and wanted to have a higher level then us humans. But GOD didn't accept that, He told them that everyone will be in the same level. But they didn't accept that and was agianst GOD's word. And that's why GOD send them to the darkness because they were against His word, but they didn't want to lose like this. So they told GOD to give them a chance to proof how the human-being were so weak. And GOD told them that "humans are much stronger than you think they are, so make me see what you can do, I will be with them always, that's what you have to know, like I used to be with you before you were against my word." And that's even why we humans can't neither see GOD nor demons. To just belive in ourselves and the knowlege we have been given.
And after that they have been called demons and are trying their hardest to show GOD how humans are weak and can be fooled by them so easy. "
When I was listening I just couldn't wonder what was the meaning to tell me this. Why me? And why are they after me if they were. Why could I feel them so clearly and why are they hunting me? I am as normal and simple as everyone else! I have been fooled so many times and did so many wrong things!
I felt as my head was beating so hard, as it will explode soon. I was so tired. Felt as I couldn't move.. I went inside of the house, an old house, but nice. It was like model of a cave.. Betwen the rooms were stairs and the roof wasn't so high, just that high for my size. When I entered the house I couldn't just sit because everything was up and down. Someone has come here and searched for something, but what? I run to every room to find anyone, but I couldn't find someone. And I was so scared. I felt Ias I have to be strong and had to go to mum. She was surely in danger too. But then I saw my sister talking in the phone. "Hurry up and say goodbye without she would know anything, we have to go out from here, now!" it was as if she was talkikng to mum.
" Why, just calm down, you have become insane!" She was so calm and didn't even recongnize how the house were.
I began to tell her over and over again to hurry up and run with me, but in the end she came to me and was so angry and wanted to beat me! I was really scared of her. She wasn't normal. The sister of mine, so nice and always worried about me, wasn't here at all. She had a bandage on her head. I took it away but there iunder the bandage it was a dark cloth, which had a letter or something on it. I thought I had to take it away. Maybe it was a spell on her or something and then when I was trying to take it away I just woke up with such swet and shaking body I never ever were before.
the dream - the woman
I saw a dream tonight, the night before the day of my last examen in this year..
The dream took away my energy and gave me headeache.. I don't know surely if it it was because of the sleepless night or if it was because of the dream I had just last hours of my awaken..
I don't know if I woke up and then dreamed again or if it is the same dream but in another place..
I was now somewhere I don't know, near the busstation I think.. One old woman, in 90 years old came to me and told me something. How hard I though tried to remember what she said, I can't remember it. She maybe told me to be careful of something or to do something or maybe it was an advice she gave me.. It was something really important..
Anyway when she was gone, it was like from then and on I saw as I am just a ghost, just see things without beeing a part of it.
I saw a woman stopped the buss, and gave a lunch-box to her younger sister, who were in the buss, going to school maybe.
And then after that I saw many things, which were not that important.. But then..
A man was walking on the street and a woman too. But the woman came from a small way to that street. Both was going to their works I think. The place was strange.. In the garden of the house there was some cheeps and some bucks. The bucks was so insane. One of them was hurting itself and was so dirty of its own blood. The young lady stood and began to watch. She maybe thought sad for the buck or maybe she wanted to help, or wanted to do something. But then when the buck saw that someone looked at it, it just became more mad and scar the young lady twice with its horn. And then when she woke up of the surrprice of the attack she directly hit the buck with a slap which made the buck "fly" away. The buck behaved normaly now, as if she made him be good, he became even cleaner, not as dirty as he was before... But she was instead hurted and fell on the floor.
The young man run to her and wanted to help her, but what should he do? the whole skin of her was out, it was like two pices, she was even blooding so badly. The strange thing was, the young man gave her his own wristwatch. It was a brown leather with a watch which was quite rectangular. And on the watch was writen "the sound of.." something which I don't remember, maybe sound of birds, or sound of heaven.
Suddenly I was somewhere else near the waterfalls. The young lady who was hurted was sitting under the waterfall. And the wound of her, more like a pice of her chest was just out and being washed with the water of waterfall. The thing is like.. I felt as if she was now clean from everything, from the blood and like she was pure now.. but instead she was dying.. Because of the wound was like going inside of her heart. I run to her and wanted to do something.
The crazy thing was, she could see me at that time.. She told me happyly that he gave her his watch. And I cried, and shouted why she was sitting under the waterfall while she was hurted badly, in that way. She smiled at me and told me something which I don't remember.. Then the watch began to whistle like the birds. As if it was a alarm by a singing birds's sound. Then I saw as it was an elevator, with no walls, just a floor. The elevator was shining as if there was a sun inside the elevator. It was so amazing but at the same time creepy. She told me something and said that she was happy that she was able to have the watch for some minutes, and then she gave me the watch and wanted to go inside this elevator. I took her hand and told her that I loved her and that I won't forget her..
I watched the elevator going up and I fell down and began to cry while I held in the watch she gave me.. Then I woke up because of the sound of my crying and the tears wich were streaming..
And then when I opened my eyes, when I woke up and felt as if I am awake, I felt as if someone is near me. And when I looked above me I saw a face, with red, shining eyes. I shutted my eyes as quickly as I could and took the filt above me.. I was sooo scared. But I couldn't keep hiding there so I began to pray, the texts I can from the quran, and then I suddenly took away my filt and went to toilet because I was going to pee on myself if I didn't run.
A dream.. the beach
I was in a house near the beach taking my jacket to go out and walking near the waves of the sea. It was early at the morning and the sun was on her way to go up.
There was a bridge near, well more correctly above there I was walking. It was a huge bridge and high.
The house was huge and as on the klif.. I was walking and wondering how he would be when he would come.. because he would come with his mother, maybe his family today. I sat and saw the beautiful sunrise which where reflexing on the sea. I laied on my back and breath the fresh air. It was so nice weather like the beautifulest spring weather. After some minutes I went back to the house.
I was in the kitchen helping mum with food when they came, his mother went to mum directly and hugged her, and said coldly hi to me and turned around to mum again. I said hi quietly and continued with what I was doing. I felt like wanting to cry. Would he say hi so coldly too when he will see me?
I saw him coming there with things, on his way to the room beside kitchen, to their room. He saw me when he was in the way and smiled at me. Then his mother told him to hurry up and put the things in the room. He saw her and went to the room and put the things and came on his way to me. My mum and his mother saw us and then I was told from my mum to continue what I was doing because I have to hurry up
and his mother told him to hurry up and take the other things up.
We saw one another and then he went and I continued.. I tried to be finished with everything as quickly as I could to go to him and see him, without anyone knows, because I didn't want them to take us apart.. I wanted to se him and talk to him just alone... What's wrong with talkinbg to him??
When I was finished I hurried up and dressed and wanted to go out. But then when his brother saw that I will go out he went to his brother before I could take my jacket. I just wished him to disapear.
What do they want from us???
I went in my room and cried. Even if he is here now after these years, I can't see him, not even saying hi.
I took away my tear with my hand and stood up. I went out and saw him walking on the beach.. He was thinking about somethig, because he doesn't look like he was in this world. And thanks GOD his brother was on his way back, when he had to go. I hided myself until his brother was not there anymore. And then I walked to him, and began to walk at the same level with him. He saw me and smiled and I smiled back.
W: Hi
A: Hi
W: Happy to see you again
M: Me too
I stood without moving my legs suddenly and thought how wonderful it is to walk with him and talk to him like old days. He turned around and saw that I stood without moving a step. He came closer to me and hugged me. I felt as I wanted to cry.. of happiness.. He hasn't change.. He is still worm and lovely.. He is still that person I knew once..
I hugged him hurder and he held me closer to him.
And then slowly everything became foggy and heared the drops of the rain outside.
A dream..The tree...
I saw a dream...
I was with everyone, with my family in a shop which was my sister's. The shop was so beautiful, even if it was alittle.. but there were s many glasses and historik things.
I was going to school, to a party I think or to a lesson of fysics. Well fysics is not as a party, I know, but..
Then someone came so he will take me to that party or to school. But my sister, one of my sister was against going out with a boy. So she and her man went after us to stop us. But then I took a brik and it helped us to fly..(!) and we hugged each other so we could "fly". I helped to go up with the brics which are in the biuldings near. I climbed the biuldings while flying with that person. And it was even raining when we went out..
He was not my type. He was not tall, he was the same as tall as me. And he had yellow, green eyes and had light brown hair. He looked like a Swedish man..
Later when we come to a place where there were cars and parks I stopped, but still was in a hurry. So my sister and her husband wouldn't see us, and take us home again. I had really to go to that party, or to that lesson.
Anyway we were near a park which where surrounded by buildings and the rain stopped, it was sunny now... I saw a buildings which looked like a school buildings. But we went to a family who were passing by, and asked them where the school building was. And they told us the same place I thought it was.
I went to my partner and smiled.. He smiled back and held my hand and then we went to that park. And then I saw a really beatiful tree. It was like the tree it used to be in a park there chairs would be under the tree. It was beautiful, it was green and had flowers, rose flowers. The tree was not tall, the end of the branch were falling down.
And I thought that the tree was magical, and could make me fly even more than the bricks. So I took a branch and tryied to brake it. It was so hard to brake.. So I took a shorter branch and broke it.
But then something awful happened. Everything turned to black.. It was like hurrycaine. Everything was taking by that awful thing. And the partner of mine disapeared, he became a clamentine! (hahaha)
I took the clamentine which was himself.. And cried.. What have I done???
I began to run.. and then I saw a big buildings. I took the strais, and then opened the door.. Suddenly I was somewhere..in a big "concert" but still like a school, ore more like a big famous place..
Then i saw two men standing. I saw them and felt like I knew them as I worked with them ore somthing..Then one of them asked me to come with him.
He was tall, had light brown eyes and brown hair.
I fallowed him.. We took the upstairs and then opened a door to a big room, more like a salon. Then he took my hand and took me in the center of the salon..
It was amazing! The salon had so many cabinet of glass. Inside the cabinet were so many jewalery.. In alll sorts, even thous I never have seen like in the real. It was in all colours. they were shiny and so beautiful. And then he took me near him and began to dance with me (?!) I didn't do anything about it, I even danced too. And there were a mirror there we danced. The strange thing is.. when I saw at the mirror while we danced I saw that the person I danced with was the same as I was with when I run away, and fly with... He was smiling at me, as saying I am fine... And then I looked at the person I am dancing with.. It was the guy I met a secound ago..
And then slowly I woke up.. I was worried about my time, so I won't miss the buss because I had examen, 4 hours-examen in maths.
But still I couldn't forget the dream I had today..
Tree means the life-tree, probably my life-tree. To brake a branch means that you will fall down, hurt myself, but not die. Because the tree is still alive. The hurrycaine means the problem and the falling down which I would have afterwards. But I will run away from it, I will go upstairs.. That mean I will go on with my life..? The guys are just poeple who would help me out..(doesn't have to be guys)?
the girl and his call
I saw a strange dream tonight
I was sitting and studying and then the phone began to ring
I answared it. It was him. I told him to wait so I would give the phone to his brother or my mum.
He became quiet, he wanted to speak with me. He asked how I am. I felt like I really missed him and want to see him. I went to the balcony and began to talk to him. It was at the night. Maybe in the midnight. The strange thing is when we said goodbye and went to the side of balcony and took a long breath, I saw that two persons was running outside. They were more like jumping, high jump. Then when I watched them I saw that the girl saw me.. I felt so sceared. She jumped at the side of balcony. And began to watch me. She had black eyes, which become frozen directly in my mind (even after waking up). And had black straight hair and was small. She saw me in the eyes and then she turned around and jumped down after the boy. And then they were gone.
Slowly I waked up and felt as I saw the girl in the reality, it felt soo unrealistic but so real. And his voice was still echoing in my head. I heard his voice so clearly as if it was in the reality
A dream..talking
The words in the picture say so many things
The words are really true..
" I love you, not for what you are,
But for what I am when I am with you!
It was in a book I read
That everyone in your dream
are in the real you
and the talking, all talking in your dream..
That is when your brain going thru your own thoughts
Well today I saw a dream...
A dream which made me be so tired
My mum defended me
and my sister, she just gave the blame on me
Both had right about what they said
I sat between them and listened
untill I felt as my head was going to explode
So I screamed
"that is enough! I had enough! Stop! Just for GOD sake stop!
I can't take it anymore! I am a human too!
Humans do wrong! Why is it so hard for me to do some wrong!
I am not Holy Maria! Not a profet! Not GOD! For GOD sake it's my life!
Havn't you ever done wrong?! Why don't you talk about your own faults?!
Why don't you talk about your own lives! Let me live my life and let me be alone! "
And I went away
I was tired of everyone, of everything
I know I lost so much
Lost my health
Lost a year from my life
I know I made a huge step backward
A huge misstake
But I have moved on
Why can't they move on like I did
That is the life
Sometimes it get bad
Sometimes it get good
So you have to move on
The time won't just stop because you want it to stop
Neither will it go faster just because you want
Thank you for beeing with me my lovely father
Tonight I saw a dream...
I was sitting on my bed
Reading a book
a novel
was trying to do something
to make the time go fast
I was feeling nervous
because my dad would come home today
Maybe it was the first time I would see him
or maybe I have been too little to remember
I was afraid that he won't love me as much as my sister which have seen him before
My bedroom was at the end of the hall near the out door, which was in the middle of the hall
And when I heard the sound of knocking
I just sat still on my bed
even when my sister opened the door and begin to make noices
I was still sitting on my bed
I was sceared to go to him
to even say hi
they took my dad to the living room
and I heard them laughing and talking in happy voice
I was realy pathetic
It was my fault to be alone in my room
while my dad which I never have seen,
beeing busy with my sister and mum
I came out of my room to go and maybe say hi
but in my way I saw my dad
He was coming to my room
He was handsome and young
I felt so nervous and made myself as if I was going to toilet
He came near me and said hi
I said hi back and took out my hand to shake hands
He saw me in a funny way
and took out his hand and shaked hands
He suddenly swiped my hand to him and hugged me
I felt abit happy
I hugged him carefully and felt how much I loved him
"I love you, my daughter" he wispered in my ear and hugged me stronger
Without knowing
my tears begin to stream
and I hugged him hard
I have really missed him
I really loved him
and wanted to see him everyday
Wanted that he would live with us
Slowly everything became blurred and I begin to hear the noices of the birds
I opened my eyes and saw the gray sky beside me
I shutted my eyes again and tried to feel the feeling of my dad's hug a little bit longer
Thank you my dad for being with me when I need you most
I know you are with me, even if I can't see you
just a dream about my whole life
I saw a dream tonight
I was laying in the middle of a big, beautiful church
My mum was beside me
She wanted to make me get up on my feet
My sisters too
But I couldn't
I was laying with no straight in my body
I wanted to cry
but no tears was showed up
Someone came near and told me to get up
He was a police with a military clothes
with a star on his shoulder
He told me again with a louder voice
- You can not lay here, You have to get up!
I was pissed off and told him to go away, that he has nothing to do with this.
He saw me and sat beside me a little bit and then he took my hands and took me up
He took me to a place there we could sit and then we begin to talk.
He was on his way to go away after talking
I get up too and went after him.
It was like if he had told me that he loved me,
but I couldn't because I was in love with someone.
But in the same time, I was feeling like I needed him
That he was important to me
that I didn't want to lose him just because
I was in love with someone doesn't even love me back
someone who just fooled around with me
I can fall in love with him by the time, cause he was really gentle and true.
And forget the man I was in love with
And when he saw that I was walking behind him
He just turned around and told me to go back
I nodded and looked down
He laid his hand on my head and then he took up my face so he could see me
He looked at me with thus gentle eyes and smiled
He was not like my dream prince
But he was cute
He was tall, around 180 cm
thin, with muscle body
with a dark brown hair, like mine but short off course
brown eyes, nice like mine
and had even moustache, like my dads', but a bit thinner
I smiled back
He asked why I was walking behind him
- I don't know, but I couldn't let you go.
That's right that I don't love you like you want.
But you really are important to me and I don't want to lose you. I do love you but in a special way.
I really was in love with him,
His love was pure and calm
His love made me see better and was making me feel like I am in this life
He didn't make me feel like I am in a dream.
He made me feel happy in a calmer way
Not like the man I was in love did
The youngest boy made me feel so strong feelings
as strong as I couldn't handle it
He made me jump and dance when he talked nicely
and cry the nights along when he didn't
His love just made me feel like I am dreaming
I wasn't feeling that I am in this world
And this time I really wanted this love of calmness
Because I cant just live in a dream
I wanted to live in the reality
We had decided that he would come to my house and asked for my hand from my mother.
The day which was about coming and asking for my hand from my mother came
I was walking in a town square
Was seeing my phone
open it and then close it
like I always do when I'm thinking
I was thinking if I made the right decision
If its right to marry one, while I am in love with someone else
what should I do?
But I really was tired
tired of this life
tired of being fooled by the one I loved
Tired of waiting to see when he would really fall in love with me
It will never happen anyway
Then I decided to really marry that person who loved me
and be faithful in whole my life to him
I will love him like he wants
and do my best to make him happy
The day came to be married
I was warring a light green dress
really beautiful dress like the wedding-dress
and was the day we would write on papers, about being married
but something happened this time
he didn't come
then my brothers looked for him and found him in a street with his things
He was laying down dead
He had left a letter on thus things which was for me
I couldn't keep my self up on my feet
I sat on the ground and opened the letter which was bloody
I tried to read it, but I couldn't because of the tears which was streaming
I really loved him at that time and it really hurted me to see him laying like that dead
I let my brother read it
he read just a bit of it, which was about the things and stuff,
but didn't read the other paper,
because the pther paper was speacially for me
The things was for me
It was my wedding things and many other things which he wanted to gave me
even his things was there too
I went close to him
he was bloody
was shotten to death
I took his hand and wanted to shoot his name aloud
I wanted to see him once again
I wanted at least to kiss him in my wedding-day
I wanted to live my life with him
I cried of my pain
It wasn't fear
I hated everyone
Didn't want to live in this awful life
Nothing was important to me any longer
A few years later I was walking in a shop
The shop had his things
Things which he had made
and things which was his own
my eyes was stopped at a clock
It was old and little
but beautiful
It was like the old clock with a pendulum
Under the clock was some words which was written
I looked at it and saw that was the youngest boy who had written it
and then I looked and there was a letter from him too
which was so old
I open it and saw what was written in it. And then I just laid it at the place where it was.
I didn't want anything longer
Nothing from this life
I was just living my life and waiting
for that time when I had to travel to the another world
Nothing more
the dream - cave
Tonight I saw a dream
The dream felt so real
...
Enjoyed the beautiful coast
was sitting on the sand while the waves came and soped from my toes till legs
the water was so clear and so soft
My mum and everyone else was sitting a bit far away from me
They was sitting on chairs while speaking about me
They thought I couldnt hear them
But I did
They talket to someone stranger
The stranger talket about me
"she has not long time left to live,
She has a disease ------------------------
the disease have come to high level
We are sorry
The disease is stronger than we can do something about"
I didnt look behind me, didnt look how my lovely mother was look like
I was scared that they would know that I heard
Didnt want anyone would come to me
to feel sorry for me
Because I didnt feel sorry
I stood up and begun to walk beside the water
I felt theirs eyebeam at my neck
It did hurt me alot
not because I understood about my disease
I didnt feel sad about it
It was like I knew
I maybe just felt surprised that I had right
but it hurts because of my mother and my family
I didnt want to hurt them
didnt want that they should feel in pain
because of me
I walket and walket until I was somewhere else
somewhere so far away from my family
I felt so lost
so lonely
Just wanted to be beside someone
Just someone which could hold me in his arms
someone which could understand me without saying a word
someone which gave me the strangth that I needed
I felt a bit calm
after walking alone
like it allways did
I walket until I was near the mountain
which was of stone with wild plant around
It was so beautiful
The waves of the sea was touching so softly at the big and high mountain
like if they were in unfortunite love
The sun was around to go down
I did feel like I am somewhere in magic world
And the most wonderful thing was when I saw the cave
I went inside that big cave which the water went throue
it was just a small way to go in
but the water which went inside wasnt so deep
I could go even in that water
which was so soft and clear like it was in that sea outside
I couldnt blieve what I saw
It felt like I was in a "dream"
The cave was full of sea creatures
It was really beautiful
I havent seen anything like these before
I didnt even knew that there was such sea creatures as much it was
You can even imagine how many colors the sea creatures had
The cave was like it was by cristal
And the light of the sunset
made the whole cave
lighting up on red
It was incredible!
and then slowly slowly I could hear that the phone was ringing
when I wake up I noticet even that I hadnt moved whole night, while I use to move so much
8 hours without moving
